Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Don't Be Deceived by Appearances

Oh, sure I know he LOOKS cute and innocent. Do not be deceived. Behind that angelic face lies the brain of an evil mastermind. He has many aliases. You never know which he will assume, and when. Let me present the evidence to you. (Side Note: I couldn't get him to let go of the purple bracelet, so it stuck around for all of the pics except one
Item #1: Robin Hood in Reverse. Yes. He steals from the POOR (the cats) to give to the WEALTHY (Himself, and the Garbage God). I guess he COULD prefer whiskas to gerber, but let's not go there.

Item #2: The Dish Thief. Just when you thought it was safe to unload the dishes, he comes tearing in from the front room. With supersonic ears that can hear the creak of the opening dishwasher from anywhere on the upper floor, he comes to "HELP." He will steal your spoons and leave them only fit for another washing.

Item #3: The Book Vandal. Books quake when he enters the room. They would run and hide if they could. He stealthily sneaks up on the poor unsuspecting books and then WHAMMY!!! The books are yanked from their nice warm bins only to be drooled upon and crumpled. Despite trying to keep the drooling to board books, and the crumpling to a minimum there HAVE been some casualties.

Item #4: The Toilet Plunger. The bathroom door has been left open by a certain 5 year old who shall remain nameless. Mother is reading books to an attentive 2 year old unaware of the impending doom. Then, there comes the faint sounds of splashing and plops. The Toilet Plunger has struck again!! A rush to the bathroom ensues only to find multiple brushes, scrunchies, headbands, and various other items knocked onto the floor by 2 girls, all in the toilet while the Plunger wears a happy grin and splashes in the toilet that one can only PRAY the certain 5 year old remembered to flush. Much washing and sterilizing then takes place as one tries to erase the evidence of the Plunger.

Item #5: The Pooper Scooper. (You will all be pleased to note that I did NOT pose my child by the litter box to illustrate this alias, neither did I subject you to viewing my litter box online.) NEVER leave the kitchen unattended while the Pooper Scooper is headed that way. SURE, he may fall down the stairs, but it's more likely he will head to the litter box with nauseating results. I repeat, NEVER leave the kitchen unattended while the Pooper Scooper is headed that way.

You now have the evidence. So I ask you: Innocent Angel, or Evil Villian? Only YOU can decide.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Beware of reading other people's blogs, You might get tagged. Thanks Cicily

i am: 29, a wife, a mom, the primary president, and primary pianist
i think: about too much, all the time.
i know: that God always has a reason for everything, but whether or not we know what it is is the question
i want: to make enough money to not live paycheck to paycheck
i dislike: Lima beans....YUCK!!!!
i miss: my friend Kristie and brother Donald in Texas
i fear: seconding Cicily, loosing my husband or kids
i feel: overwhelmed by clutter in my house
i hear: the lovely sounds of children....well not really. Trent is napping and the girls are playing downstairs
i smell: Nothing, but I WISH I was smelling fresh baked bread that I didn't have to bake
i crave: Slurpees!!!!!
i cry: less now than when I'm pregnant. I finally understood how someone could cry over diaper commercials!!!
i usually: have to make dinner, and I HATE making dinner all the time
i search: for the kids' loveys at least once a day
i wonder: when Ben will get a raise.
i regret: Not being more social in high school
i love: my family, my friends, and the Gospel (de-ja-vu huh Cic.)
i care: (sorry cic, gotta steal your answer again cuz it's SO true) way too much about what people think about me
i always: feel like I clean and clean all the time and never accomplish anything
i worry: about Ben losing his job
i am not: losing much weight even though I've been walking daily (gggrrrrr)
i remember: playing jumprope every day at recess
i believe: that SOME day life will make sense
i dance: Only when under great duress, or crazily with the girls in the front room to the Tarzan soundtrack
i sing: in the shower, at church, in the car, at home, anywhere really. However I do NOT randomly burst into song in public places like a musical.
i don’t always: like myself
i argue: rarely, but when I really feel strongly about something LOOK OUT.
i write: lots and lots of lists.....I'm a list-a-holic.
i win: Nothing I ever WANT to win. Like that HD TIVO they were giving away on the Ellen show. I WISH I could win one of those.
i lose: my sanity most days of the week
i wish: I were more like my friend Kristie.
i listen: To music to give me energy enough to clean
i don't understand: why kids have to ask "What?" a million times when you ask them to do something.
i can usually be found: at home, because I have no life really
i am scared: of falling off high places and getting in car wrecks in the snow
i need: my friends to help me feel better about myself.
i forget: to take the meat out of the freezer for dinner all the time
i am happy: to have all the blessings I DO have right now.
i tag: Amy and Elise specifically, plus anyone else that thinks it might be fun!!!!

Friday, September 12, 2008

When it rains, it pours

So, this summer has been a crazy one for Marissa. First, she broke her arm. 2 weeks after getting her cast off Audrey cut her hair. Then that same night as the hair cutting, she cut her forehead on a china tea cup that broke. Well if THAT wasn't enough, last wednesday she wanted to go downstairs to play. She happily took off to find her baby dolls downstairs, when I suddenly heard THUMP, THUMP, THUMPETY-THUMP, BANG, SCREAM!!!! I ran through the house and down the stairs to find Marissa lying face down at the bottom of the stairs screaming. I picked her up and took a look at her and noticed the large trail of blood down her face. The source was a large HOLE in the middle of her forehead!!! I quickly got a towel and applied pressure to be able to asses the damage. Noticing that she would DEFINITELY need stiches, but that this was not an ER trip kind of emergency, I called Ben at scouts and told him to come home immediately because Marissa was going to need stitches. After hanging up with Ben I called the doctor's office to get her in. Well, Marissa was such a brave girl. In fact, after she got over the scare of falling she didn't cry AT ALL!!! Didn't cry when they cleaned her hole, or when they put numbing cream on it. Didn't cry when the doctor poked and prodded the hole in her head to figure out how best to sew it, and didn't cry when the doc sewed her up with 5 stiches. She came out of the doctor's with a bouquet of suckers and was just fine. Now, you are all sitting there asking yourselves, "WHY did Marissa fall down the stairs?" You see, as I picked up my crying little girl, I noticed the incriminating evidence on the floor beneath her. It was snow white. Yes, snow white.....well sort of. Earlier that morning Audrey and I were cleaning her room and I handed her the Snow White dress and told her to take it downstairs to all her other dress-up things. She left the room with the dress in tow and reappeared a few minutes later. I Naively assumed that she had actually taken the dress downstairs and put it away.........yeah right. She had gone to the top of the stairs and tossed it down the stairs which meant it landed in the middle of the stair well. THIS is what Marissa slipped on and caused her to tumble down our steep, hard, barely carpeted stairs. *sigh* I told Audrey if I ever found her dress up clothes on the stairs again, they would go straight to the trash. I told Marissa she is not to have any more major injuries for a LONG time. I can hope right?? Ben took pics on his blackberry, so we'll see if he'll upload them so you can see Marissa's hole. It's now been a week and half since it happened. She got the stitches out on Monday, and again, didn't cry at all. Now it's just trying to keep her from picking the scab off. She's already going to have a big enough scar smack dab in the middle of her forehead without her picking at the scab!!! Is she going to survive childhood?!?!?!?!?!?

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The Scissor Fairy Strikes Again

I swear we have a naughty scissor fairy in our home. The scissor fairy struck again on Saturday for the 5th(!!!) time. The scissor fairy attacked on Saturday morning. It was a peaceful morning until, BAM!!! Chaos broke loose. The fairy found a new victim this time however and went for Marissa's hair instead of Audrey's. The scissor fairy has already attacked Audrey 4 times, twice drastically so, and twice not so noticeably. This attack was a drastic attack. Audrey claims she did not see the scissor fairy, though all signs point to her knowing more than she lets on, about said fairy. Despite drastic hair cuts, a couple spankings, other various consequences, the hiding of all scissors for months, and the overhanging threat of a head shaving should the fairy ever return, that naughty little fairy still could not resist the hypnotic pull of Marissa's auburn ringlets. Let me show you the results of said scissor fairy's handiwork this time. (Sorry if the pics aren't really clear, we had a hard time getting Marissa go hold still for some good shots)
This is what Mariss'a pigtails looked like BEFORE the attack. Nice, long, and curly.

This is what became of her pigtail after the scissor fairy attacked.

And here is Marissa's short, pixie hair cut that was necessary after the naughty fairy had her way with Marissa's hair.

So I had made the classic parenting mistake of threatening a punishment I had no desire to fulfill. I was hoping the THREAT of shaving her head would keep Audrey from cutting hair anymore. Alas, it did not work, and just as she was on the verge of getting said shaving done that night she saved her sister from a nasty cut on the head while in the bathtub. So, I had my way out, but we know the next time will have to be something very drastic to keep her from ever doing a hair cutting session again.