What happened to the good old days where children were taught RESPECT!? As a child growing up, not SO distantly, in the 80's I was expected to show respect for other people and their property. It seems these days that less and less children are respectful of ANYTHING. ALL people should be expected to respect other people and their property.
As a child I was taught to respect my elders. I called my parents respectful titles of mom, dad, or mommy and daddy. I called my friend's parents brother or sister so-and-so or mom and dad if they were parents of my best friends.
I was expected to use respectful speech towards everyone. I was not allowed to swear. I was not allowed to sass. In fact the one time I REMEMBER being spanked was because it was my FATHER who spanked me (a very rare occasion) for sassing my MOTHER. I know I was spanked more than that one time, but that one is ingrained in my memory.
I was expected to ask permission for things. If I was hungry I was expected to ask for something, not just take it and go to town. If I wanted to play on the neighbor's basketball court I was expected to knock on the door and ask their permission, and if they weren't home I didn't play. If I wanted to go to a friend's house I was expected to ask before going. If I LEFT a friend's house to go to another friend's house I was expected to call and let my parents know.
I was expected to respect property, my own and others'. I did not go around trashing my home or others' homes. I was expected to clean up after myself whether at home or at a friend's. I was expected to play NICELY with other people's things and not to ruin them.
So...why this rant? I sit here in my home where I am looking out at a backyard that has been trashed by children (my own and neighbors). There is garbage ALL OVER. The children have ripped all the foam off the trampoline net bars and tossed it all over the yard. Some child has ripped a giant hole in the trampoline net. There are shoes, jackets, and various other items of clothing strewn across the yard. Now, I know that my own children are as much to blame as anyone. Whether or not they participated in the trashing is a moot point: they allowed it to happen. Guess who will be cleaning it all up? My children and me, because I realize that it is as much my own fault that this has happened.
I TRY very hard to teach my children respect. I am not perfect at teaching the concept, and I am not perfect at always enforcing the conecpt. I'm human, so sue me. However, teaching your children respect and expecting them to follow through is hard enough. Add to that, being surrounded by other children who have NO concept of respect and it seems that all my hard training and teaching flies out the window in the face of peer pressure.
At times I want to ban ALL other children from my house unless they have PROVEN themselves to be respectful and responsible. However, I know that MY house is a GOOD place for these children to be. Here they will not be exposed to crude language and questionable media. Here they will be exposed to a family with values, love, and high expectations. It feels very much like a catch 22: If I ban the children from my home they lose the good influence my family can be for them but allowing them into my home is sometimes a tough pill to swallow as they have no respect for other people or their property. What is a girl to do?
Thanks for allowing me to rant. Now I can get my rear in gear and take care of the backyard.
10 months ago