Thursday, January 8, 2009

A Glimpse of the Divine

Motherhood is a hard job, at least for me. The thought of raising kids to be honest, spiritual, compassionate, responsible, self-disciplined adults is very overwhelming. Motherhood is full of frustrations, whining, crying, fussing, laughter, smiles, fears, and many other emotions. However, once in a while, when you least expect it you can catch a glimpse of what the Lord means by calling motherhood a "divine" calling. As I held my baby boy, who is closer to a full on toddler than a baby now, at 3am last night I caught one of those glimpses of the divineness of motherhood. When my little boy, who rarely sits still, just wanted me to hold and snuggle him I felt such a surge of love for my calling as a mother. I was not excited to be up at 3am with a child that RARELY wakes during the night, but has done so multiple times in the last few nights. I picked him up and took him to the front room to just hold him. He fell asleep in my arms and I felt so special. I put him back to bed and when I climbed into bed, my little Rissa snuggled over to me in her sleep. Suddenly it didn't matter that Marissa had been in our bed since 10:30. It didn't matter that she ends up in our bed every night. As my beautiful little girl snuggled up I was happy for this moment in her childhood where she loves her mommy so much. Suddenly I felt so proud to be the mother of a baby boy who climbs on everything and makes a break for the bathroom at every opportunity. I was in awe of the little girl who loves her mommy and craves her company so much that she drives me up the wall day in and day out. And for just a moment, I thought of my 5 year old sleeping peacefully in her own bed. I wished, for just a brief moment, that my little girl, who is so happy and sure of her world, needed her mommy a little bit more.

4 comments:

sweetmama.heather said...

You're awesome. I love moments like that, it really comes when you need it most. Then you have a bit more strength to keep on going. Thank you for you post.

The Crandall Clan said...

That is so sweet Michelle. You worded it so perfectly.

Bardinos! said...

What a sweet post! I love that! I cried! Not that I don't do that a lot...but that was so sweet! Thank you for reminding me that I DO have a calling to do what I do!

Ally Mack said...

Well put. At times I think I take moments like you said for granted. I realize each day that my little boy who is growing up so quickly around me is making me sad. I try and cherish moments like that, but like you say at 3 am its hard. Well put. Your an great mother!!